


A Little Offworld Adventure

by craterdweller



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Adventure & Romance, F/M, Some Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-24
Updated: 2015-05-24
Packaged: 2018-04-01 02:24:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4002301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/craterdweller/pseuds/craterdweller
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>While filling in for General Landry, Jack goes offworld with SG-1 and an old ally where they are captured by female pirates.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Little Offworld Adventure

A gentle breeze blew across the bridge of what would be described in Earth terms as a Spanish galleon, and brought some small relief to the four prisoners lashed to the mizzenmast. Major General Jack O’Neill squirmed futilely against his bindings garnering a complaint from fellow prisoner Dr. Daniel Jackson, “Jack!”

“Daniel.”

“Jack!”

“Daniel.”

“Here they go again,” Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell sighed from his position.

“Indeed,” agreed the fourth prisoner, Teal’c, who merely closed his eyes.

“Can’t you do something about them?”

“Mitchell!”

“Sir?”

“Shut up.”

“Yes, sir.”

Jack reflected on the day’s events. He’d arrived in Colorado Springs two days ago. Hank Landry was recovering from hip replacement surgery and while he had full confidence in both Colonels Carter and Reynolds to run the base in his stead, the President felt it best for Jack to split his time between the Pentagon and the SGC until Landry returned. To be honest, Jack relished any chance to get out of Washington. He hated being stuck behind a desk. His life had turned into days of endless meetings with politicos and evenings of snobby parties for the rich and famous. He fidgeted again. The ache in his bad knees and back an unwelcome reminder of why he was no longer in the field.

“Just what are they doing down there? I’m roasting like a pig on a spit here. Not too mention the cramp I have in my leg,” Mitchell growled.

Hearing the much younger Mitchell’s complaint, Daniel bit back on the impulse to chastise Jack again. His old friend’s knees and back must be killing him and he felt a pang of regret for his prior churlishness. As more droplets of sweat trickled down his back he too wondered when the women would return. Thankfully he had chosen to wear his contacts for this mission so he didn’t have to put up with steamy glasses obscuring his vision.

“I’m sure Colonel Carter and Vala Mal Doran are doing their best to secure our release, Colonel Mitchell,” Teal’c asserted.

Jack grunted and wondered whether the cosmos was having a laugh at his expense. Anise/Freya had contacted them with a lead on a potential new ally in their fight against the Ori. He’d agreed for SG-1 to accompany her to planet P3S-314, but she’d insisted that the locals would only negotiate with someone of his rank. Carter and Mitchell had both protested vociferously, arguing that SG-1 should perform a recon first and then send for the General. Jack had been inclined to agree, particularly since they had precious little information about this planet or its level of technology, but then he received the reports on dozens more worlds that had either converted to Origin or had been destroyed. The battle with the Ori was getting desperate. Desperate measures for desperate times or some such. He snorted. Yep, karmic payback. He really hated cliches.

He heard giggling. And definitely not from Carter. He snapped awake and suppressed a groan. Tied up with little mobility was not something about offworld travel that he missed. He rolled his eyes at the source of the commotion. Three young women had taken an interest in Mitchell. All of the men had been stripped of their vests and overshirts leaving them in just their black tees and BDU pants, except for Mitchell, who had somehow managed to lose his pants. Again. Jack had always figured Carter exaggerated the number of times Mitchell wound up sans pants, but perhaps he should consider adding a tailor to the SGC roster.

“Ladies, stop that! It tickles!” Cam’s protests, however, only encouraged them to continue to pinch the area around his knees. His giggles turned into howls when one of them discovered the crease where his legs met his torso.

“Cease that at once. It is not yet time to inspect the merchandise,” their leader commanded.

Reluctantly the women backed off, leaving Mitchell relatively unscathed.

“Merchandise?” Jack queried.

“Yes. You will be given food and drink and there will be an inspection of goods before the auction.” Four women, including the leader, approached carrying trays of cakes and jugs of something. At Carter’s subtle nod, he politely refused. “No thank you.” He shuddered at the memory of the last time he had accepted cake from a strange woman offworld. His team hadn’t let him forget it either. His men followed his lead, much to the disappointment of the women.

The leader spoke, “as no one has accepted the offer of marriage by partaking in the wedding cakes, we will now inspect the merchandise.” With the wave of her hand, the women divided into groups and lined up in front of the four men. There were almost fifty women in all, with three groups of almost equal numbers, each standing in front of Teal’c, Daniel and Cam.

Jack noted that Vala Mal Doran was among the group standing in front of Daniel. There were only three in his group, Carter, the leader Nerisys, and Anise/Freya. He supposed he should have been offended, but well he was old and damaged goods. He heard the shred of fabric as a t-shirt was shorn from another team member. At least he would be spared that indignity. Or so he thought.

“You are the alpha male. As per our custom, only leaders may claim you. Samantha, as leader of the Tau’ri, Anise as leader of the Tok’ra delegation, and of course, myself, leader of the Bhodsha. A sharp, jeweled knife slashed his shirt open from collar to waist. Jack closed his eyes in mortification. So much for being spared this particular humiliation.

Colonel Samantha Carter chewed her bottom lip. Jack O’Neill was a very attractive man in better shape than most men ten years younger. He may no longer have the washboard abs of youth, but he had the broad shoulders and firm chest of a man of action. But underneath all the bravado, lived a modest man, that preferred to remain hidden in the background rather than basking in the spotlight. Of course, having been in love with the man for years, she was a bit biased. She glared at Anise/Freya, the one-time ally that had betrayed them. The Tok’ra woman had always had a thing for Jack and apparently this whole operation was a ruse. Sam could see the woman drooling.

“Hey! Quit that!” Jack’s protested.

Nerisys, having obviously appreciated what she’d seen, prodded Jack’s torso very intimately. When one hand began a journey towards his belt, Sam snatched it away and gave her a firm shove. “I’ve told you, he’s mine. Now back off.” Sam stroked across his chest possessively.

“He wears no ring. Anise said the mates of the Tau’ri wear rings to signify their taken status.”

“Not all soldiers wear them on duty, particularly the leaders as it would put the mate at risk to be used as leverage.” Sam answered cooly. “Now let’s get this challenge nonsense over with so we can get back to negotiations.”

“Carter,” Jack warned.

“Later,” Carter ordered and silenced any of his other objections with a possessive kiss.

Nerisys shouted, “Kali Fo!”  All activity stopped and the women formed a large circle.

“Samantha Carter claims this alpha as hers. She has accepted the challenge from myself, Nerisys rightful leader of the Clan Bhodsha, and Anise, leader of the Tok’ra. Victory and the spoils to the last woman standing!”

Jack blinked. Carter was going to fight for him? She’d always been a great fighter, now even better after training with Teal’c, but was she crazy fighting two women at once? And Anise had that extra strength thing going for her from her symbiote. And Nerisys was a freakin’ Amazon. He wasn’t worth it. Not if the price was her death. He opened his mouth to put an end to this, only to be cut off with another kiss from Carter. “Trust me, Jack,” she whispered. He nodded slightly. He wasn’t happy about this, but he trusted Carter without reservation.

Carter surprised everyone, especially Anise, when she knocked the Tok’ra out with a sharp blow to the nose, followed by a double fisted punch to the back of the neck. That left Nerisys. Both women drew their blades and circled each other cautiously. Both were skilled and neither had a clear advantage. Nerisys finally grew impatient and pressed an attack. Carter was momentarily driven back towards the edge of the circle, but then with a move that she had learnt from Jack, feinted right and then twisted back left, taking her opponent down with surprising force. She held a knife to Nerisys throat and commanded, “Yield!”

Nerisys yielded and Carter let her up, only to be smacked from behind from the recently conscious Anise. With Nerisys, it had been a matter of honor. As leader, she felt obligated to claim any alpha males captured. But with Anise/Freya it was personal. Jack had turned down Freya’s advances twice and then admitted under testing from a Tok’ra device that he had feelings for Sam. She flew at Sam in a near rage. Sam deflected the attack but was tiring from her long battle with Nerisys.

The loud sounds of a propeller driven aircraft drowned out the ongoing battle. Jack barely heard Vala shout for Sam over the din. Sam dropped immediately to the deck just before a airplane propeller that had broken lose spun out of control. Jack lost sight of Sam amidst all the smoke and burning oil as the rest of the plane crashed into the ship. Fires had broken out everywhere and the wooden vessel was sinking fast. “CARTER! SAM!”  Someone cut the rope that bound him.  He struggled forward before strong hands threw him overboard. “NO!” He tried to swim back towards the sinking ship, desperately looking for any signs of Sam or his teammates. Strong hands pulled him from the water and into the small boat used to ferry crew ashore. He tried to shake loose from the arms holding him, “NO! I need to find Carter! Let me go!”

“O’Neill! She’s here. She’s fine.” Teal’c’s meaty arm pointed to where Carter, Daniel, Mitchell and Vala laid panting in a heap. A little bedraggled, a little bruised, but otherwise unharmed. Thanks to the rescue efforts from a settlement of nearby men, the team had food and comfortable lodging for the night.

Sitting around a roaring campfire, Jack finally got the full story. Cast out by the remaining Tok’ra, Anise had drifted from planet to planet, eeking out an trader’s existence, quite a step down for the once respected scientist. Two months ago, the ship she was on crashed onto P3S-314. When she heard the world had a stargate on one of the islands, she sought passage and that’s when she met Nerisys. Intrigued by the local matrimonial customs and desperate to get back to a more technologically advanced world, she came up with a plan. She promised prime males from a legendary race called the Tau’ri in exchange for passage. Nerisys brought her to the stargate where she contacted the SGC. Out of touch with Earth for sometime, Anise was unaware that Jack had been promoted or that SG-1 had new members, particularly Vala. No further information about her motivations were possible because she had died instantly when struck by the propeller blade that had narrowly missed Sam.

“It was Vala who told me about the matrimonial customs, and how to free you guys without anyone getting hurt,” Sam explained.

“Yes, thanks for that, Vala.” She beamed back at Jack. “But what about that whole battle royal fight thing you had going? That wasn’t exactly without risk,” Jack gave Carter a significant look but it was Vala who clarified.

“Well, normally the clan leader would have just conceded the claim. The whole thing is all supposed to be for show by willing participants. Nerisys had no idea that we had been tricked into it. And if Anise hadn’t been so pushy about the whole challenge thing, then it would have been a nice party, with people pairing off as they chose. But Anise really had her eye on the General. Hmmm.”  Vala pretended to give him a considered look from head to toe, much to the amusement of Carter and the annoyance of Daniel.

“So if Anise hadn’t challenged?”

“Then Sam would have offered you some yummy wedding cake and you might have gotten lucky tonight.”

Jack’s eyebrows shot up into his hairline and Carter looked away embarrassed. Sensing the need for the two senior officers to talk, the rest of the group said their goodnights and headed for their respective cabins.

After a few moments Jack broke the comfortable silence. “I feel like I should apologize.”

Sam pulled her head off his shoulder and looked up at him in surprise. “For what?”

“Well, if I had listened to you and let SG-1 do the recon first…” he trailed off when she held up her hand.

“Jack, you did listen to me. But once Anise laid it on about the technology that would help defeat the Ori, we all fell for it. And she was a little obsessed. I think if that hadn’t worked she would have come up with some other reason to get you here.”

“Sounds like she went a little crazy.” At her nod he continued, “Sam, you shouldn’t have risked yourself for me. I’m not ...”

She shut him up with a passionate kiss. “Jack O’Neill don’t you dare tell me you’re not worth it. If you don’t, if you’d rather be with someone else ... “

He kissed her back just as fiercely. “Don’t even think that, Sam. But, you can do better than an old soldier like me.”

She pushed him onto his back and kissed him once again. She straddled him and deepened the kiss, letting her hands roam freely under his borrowed shirt and across his chest. When they came up for air, she stared at him determinedly, “I decide who’s best for me. Are we clear, mister?”

“Yes, ma’am,” he answered with a grin.

She pulled him up and towards the last empty cabin, furthest from the fire. From the open windows where the others had bunked down, they heard much laughter and what sounded like Daniel begging. Jack raised his eyebrows in question but Sam merely smiled and continued to pull him along behind her. He’d find out soon enough when they reached their own cabin.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Written for a livejournal challenge with the following required prompts:
> 
> 1\. Tailor  
> 2\. ship's bridge  
> 3\. airplane propellor  
> 4\. wedding cake


End file.
